It’s happenin again

We used to watch this programme back in the day called the “phat joe show” ( I think) .We then used to use this line over and over again to sound cool and trendy.Then again we used to think writing songs in a song book was also cool.In retrospect, it wasn’t so cool.But the cool thing about looking back is that things don’t seem as bad as they did when you were in that time.If it didn’t seem that bad- it seems really bad when you look back at it.

 I promised myself I would not be one of those nostalgic people who say high school and childhood was better then being older.I would like to gather experiences that teach me and make me grow in ways I could only dream of. I am sure I sound like a walking cliche , a victim of circumstance and cold feetedness.I know to better than a victim-to rise above it and look to a bright future.Positivity hurts when all looks and feels dull.

None the less I do know that one day it will be “happenin again”.Everybody has a battle to conquer in life and this is my insurmountable mountain to face.I have nothing less to lose but my very own life- however if I don’t do this , it will be as good as lost anyway.

A day in the life of a wannabe

When one is still in high school, the world seems to be waiting for you to embrace it with your presence. It’s like everything you have ever dreamed of will fall into place. In your mind you make room for disappointment or delays and maybe even failure but hen your plan B always works out.Reality was a rude and cruel awakening for me. Plan A and Plan B just did not work out leaving me in a dark and sore place. It’s even worse when one has only themselves to depend on. The rest of the people are simply onlookers who give advice on things they themselves could never ever do, yet feel if the were in your shoes, could do it much better.

The dreams I had in highs chool and childhood began to haunt me, not knowing whether giving up would be less painful than having to face my old friends and have them ask me whatever happened to my fighting spirit. When adult hood crept in, it brought with it the winter of reality, cold and long and unforgiving. Things were never meant to turn out like this. I was gonna be a star and save people’s lives.If you could see me now sitting behind some lonely desk doing sweet nothing, spending each day accomplishing nothing and watching my life go by-this is just a typical day in the life of a want to be, could have been but has not been yet…?